Alan Moore

I recently discovered that Alan Moore had written a series of comics called Top 10 at the turn of this century. I found out by reading the prequel, “Top 10 – The Forty Niners.”

I finished the series last night. It seems to be a combination super heroes story (a la Moore which means they are very interesting and even disreputable inventions of his mind) and police procedural in an imagined city, Neopolis.

I recommend this to anyone who likes comic books. Good stuff.

Another Kazantzakis quote

Let Death come down to slavish souls and craven heads
with his sharp scythe and barren bones, but let him come
to this lone man like a great lord to know with shame
on his five famous castle doors, and with great awe
plunder whatever dregs that in the ceaseless strife
of his staunch body have not found time as yet to turn
from flesh and bone into pure spirit, lightning, deeds, and joy.
The Archer has fooled you, Death, he’s squandered all your goods,
melted down all the rusts and rots of his foul flesh
till they escaped you in pure spirit, and when you come,
you’ll find but trampled fires, embers, ash, and fleshly dross.

Nikos Kazantzakis, Odssey: A Modern Sequel Book XXII, lines 27-37,p. 714-5

This is still from my first reading. I am being pulled into this book. Kimon Friar (whose yellowing obit I found in the pages of my old book) has a done good job introducing this work.

He knew Kazantzakis, but attempts to keep his understandings and actual critical apparatus (essays and notes) separate from the author’s work. I am simultaneously reading Friar’s stuff as I am reading the poem itself. It was Friar who led me to the above quote. “In these courageous ten lines he has written his own best epitaph.”

Charles Ore’s birthday

Charles Ore, the composer I mentioned yesterday, was born on Dec 18, 1936. I am “friends” with him on Facebooger. I wished him a happy birthday and in the message mentioned which of his pieces I have scheduled for Sunday.

Grace’s new organ

Martin Pasi emailed us this drawing. It’s actually of his Opus 25. We are working on having visuals available for the congregation including an artist’s rendering of the back of the church. Pasi said I could pass this drawing along.

The 10 best pieces of classical Christmas music

Lots of good music here, embedded.

Democrats Plan Senate Gantlet for Trump Choices They Can’t Block – Bloomberg

Gantlet? Gantlet? This misspelling is even in the fucking url!

A new poll shows 52% of Republicans actually think Trump won the popular vote – The Washington Post

Truthiness

Is Donald Trump a Threat to Democracy? – The New York Times

Democracy not really threatened, according to these Harvard government profs. That is unless there’s a crisis. Then we’re fucked.

Arguing the Truth with Trump and Putin – The New York Times

Gessen says we’re are having the wrong conversation. This article is less shrill than some of her stuff.

White Resentment on the Night Shift at Walmart – The New York Times

Reporter undercover.

from bonhoeffer to kazantzakis

For years, I prayed my daily office. This is the system of Christian daily Morning and Evening prayer. These prayers are in the Book of Common Prayer. I did Morning Prayer only. I also prayed my way over and over through the Psalms. But then I stopped. I found organized religion more and more distasteful. I even started volunteering and playing piano in a local nursing home because I felt that my church work was not really altruistic. I needed to do something to help people in a way that was more clear to me.

But throughout my life as a church worker I have read extensively. People like Thomas Merton and Dietrich Bonhoeffer (not to mention Martin Buber and Alexander Schmemann) have been influential on my thinking.

So it was natural that I would pull out some Bonhoeffer to make sure I wasn’t too far off in  my remembering of his ideas. After that a stack of his books sat near my reading chair waiting for me to pick one of them up and do some serious reading. It never happened.

So I gathered up the books and returned them to their place in the Bs upstairs. As I turned to leave the room, a book caught my eye.

I took it back downstairs with me. I began reading in it. It wasn’t long until I came across this passage.

“for by our Lady Moon and our Lord Sun, I swear
old age is a false dream and Death but fantasy,
all playthings of the brain and the souls affectations,
all but a mistral’s blast that blows the temples wide;
the dream was lightly dreamt and thus the earth was made;
let’s take possession of the world with song, my lads!”

Lines 64-69 of the “Prologue,” The Odyssey: A Modern Sequel by Nikos Kazantzakis.

The book seems like cry of the heart for the joy of living. Cool.

jupe motivates himself for service on christmas day

This week I found some organ music for Christmas day which I think is fun. Charles Ore writes lively music which incorporates academic literacy with playfulness and lots of rhythmic vitality.

For my postlude on Christmas Day (a service which will likely have low attendance) I am going to play his piece based on the chorale, Es ist das Heil (Salvation unto Us Has Come).

This is a version of the piece for oboe and organ. it’s essentially unchanged from the organ solo. I think this dude (Ore himself?) plays a bit more ‘holy” than I will. I do like the writing however. This is the kind of piece that appeals to my person aesthetic. I find it honest and playful.

I am looking forward to putting together little recitals that reflect a range of styles and respects the attention span of listeners. By this I mean thinking about not doing all movements of a sonata or juxtaposing pieces for their similar musical materials. Just something I’m thinking about.

If you listen to the video above, the high pitches that first occur around :57 are played with the pedal on a very high stop. On my organ what I am using sounds like a recorder. I think it’s charming.

An unpleasant experience

Amy and I played for a retirement party on Thursday. It was odd how ignored we were even though we were in the middle of the main art gallery at Holland Area Arts Council. I have always seen the Arts Council as an extension of local people politics. I haven’t had much to do with it. I haven’t been asked to and that’s fine with me. Once in a while I have darkened the doors to look at some art or listen to some live music.

It puzzles me that I haven’t been called on more to be part of it, but it reinforces my position as outsider here in Holland.

You may think I’m being unreasonable or bitter, but the current director of the Arts Council used to my next door neighbor. My daily practice wafted into their house in the summer. When they moved away, she and her husband remarked on how pleasant listening to me play had been. And that was that. No matter.

But this Thursday was a part for the retirement of the director of the Community Action House. Once again, although these people do lots of good locally, it seems entrenched in local people politics. As the crowd stood around talk loudly and drinking and eating refreshments, I noticed the sameness of the people there. For the most part, white and well dressed, restrained.

I remember my first impressions of Holland in 1987. I was startled by the overwhelming number of white people everywhere. This has changed a bit since then, but there is definitely a class system functioning here which reaches deep into the community and seems to stifle authenticity, thinking, and true dissent.

Pondering my recent exposure to some of the local upper crust (the Mayor was there and there was a proclamation from the governor of Michigan presented in honor of the retiring director), pondering Holland, I have to say that the place still feels sterile after all these years.

I did get paid the entire amount promised ($175). But even my violinist who is younger than me was exhausted by the constant noise.

A pleasant experience

My meeting with Dr. Birky, my therapist, went well yesterday. I enjoy chatting with him. I feel slightly embarrassed when I can’t give him a presenting problem for our session. Instead I end up describing my life for him and the solutions I come up with for dealing with people and situations.

It is helpful to chat with him. For example, yesterday he responded to my struggle to not intimidate people by simply pointing out that I was “bright.” “O go on,” I sheepishly responded, but then immediately told him that I knew that I was.

Birky helps me by teaching me the science behind how peoples emotions work. When I described my attempts to help people who are distressed by the election of Donald Trump, he helps me see how if they respond, they engage a different part of the brain which is not involved in anxiety, anger, and hysteria. There is a physical move to engage another part of the brain when we turn to music, ideas, and beauty. I had never thought of that.

An added bonus for me is the plethora of wild birds gathering at Birky’s feeder just outside the window of the room where we talk. He lives not far from Lake Michigan and his house sits in the woods. The feeding birds are splashes of color in the new snow. Beautiful.

I need to do a quick blog today. I’m up a bit late and I have to go see Doctor Birky in about an hour.  Maybe tomorrow I write about yesterday’s gig. For today here’s some links that have been piling up.

A Distant Glance | A travel log for an intraspective journey – Phil Harrington

This is the blog of the Methodist minister who sings in my choir. I have only read the entry from December 15th. I think he started this blog when he took a hiatus from the ministry.

The Perfect Weapon: How Russian Cyberpower Invaded the U.S. – The New York Times

A long recent article detailing history of foreign cyber warfare.

Last night was a difficult rehearsal for me. I think I pulled it off okay but I was unable to get a good over all sound from the choir. This frustrates me because usually I can. Typically every rehearsal has some bad behavior coming at me from the choir.  The societal Christmas season and the impending Trump presidency seem to have made it more complicated.People have trouble concentrating. Reactivity is a bit up. I did my best but it took a lot out of me, campers. Slept badly.

At staff yesterday I talked, probably too much.Again anxiety is high. Jen is our non anxious presence which is a godsend. But in addition to everything mentioned above, two of our staff members have family members who are ill. Actually I should say three and count myself  despite not having mentioned it in the meeting.

I sheepishly report that I told the staff that I disapprove of Micheal Moore’s approach to his movies and public statements. I also somehow got entangled in a discussion of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. When our pastoral associate mentioned that at the clergy meeting there was a lot of talk about Bonhoeffer and his plot to assassinate Hitler, I said that in my opinion we needed more of the Bonhoeffer of The Cost of Discipleship than Letters from Prison.

My atheist stance slipped a bit here and I talked about Bonhoeffer’s ideas of “costly grace” and “cheap grace.” Later Eileen asked me to explain this when I reported that I talked too much at staff. The way I understand it (and remember my faith is weak and my brain is Thursday morning muddled), Bonhoeffer was talking to German Lutherans about the idea that the grace of God is not earned, admittedly, but to stop trying to live in the Grace of God and assume that your salvation (whatever the fuck that is) is assured by grace is insufficient. I think this is what he meant by “cheap grace.” But I’ll let him speak for himself.  Here is the beginning of The Cost of Discipleship.

Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of our Church. We are fighting today for costly grace. Cheap grace means grace sold on the market like cheapjacks’ wares. The sacraments, the forgiveness of sin, and the consolations of religion are thrown away at cut prices. Grace is represented as the Church’s inexhaustible treasury, from which she showers blessings with generous hands, without asking questions or fixing limits. Grace without price; grace without cost! The essence of grace, we suppose, is that the account has been paid in advance; and, because it has been paid, everything can be had for nothing….

I remarked to the staff that Facelessbook is an example of “cheap grace.”

“Costly grace” is, for me, more related to the whole “cost of discipleship” idea. I went upstairs and pulled out my books by Bonhoeffer. Here is a section I had marked which I think points towards my understanding of “costly grace.”

The path of discipleship is narrow, and it is fatally easy to miss one’s way and stray from the path, even after years of discipleship. And it is hard to find. On either side of the narrow path deep chasms yawn. To be called to a life of extraordinary quality, to live up to it, and yet be unconscious of it is indeed a narrow way.

Egads. It seems that I am now preaching in my blog. Forgive me dear reader. But I think Bonhoeffer might be helpful even to an old agnostic like me in the coming years. “To be called to a life of extraordinary quality… and yet to be unconscious of it.” I like that a lot.

Hasselback Eggplant with Garlic-Yogurt Sauce – Cook’s Science

So I got up exhausted and a bit melancholy. I decided to make this recipe. The first step was to make pomegranate molasses which is simple: 4 C pomegranate juice, 1 T fresh lemon juice, 1/2 C sugar. Reduce over heat for about 70 minutes.

Then slice up the eggplant. The recipe has the excellent idea of laying down a chop stick on each side of a half egg plant and then slice. The chop stick stops you from cutting all the way through the eggplant.

Then toast some walnuts. I didn’t have enough so I added some sunflower seeds.

Then put hot peppers, bread crumbs, pomegranate molasses, green onions, cumin, hot peppers, cayenne pepper, lemon juice, olive oil and salt into the blender and make a paste.

Then spread on the cut eggplant and bake.

Here’s what it looks like just out of the oven.

You can see that the eggplant is still not terribly cooked, but it was time to get that topping out of the oven. I put tin foil over it for the last ten minutes. Eileen pointed out that I could always zap it to cook it more with burning the topping. I’m not sure she will try it, but she is interested to watch me make weird food.

jupe takes  a gig

My violinist, Amy, called and left a message for me about a gig. Originally she told me it would be today from 4 to 6 PM. I declined due to having a limited energy pie these days and didn’t want to do it just before choir rehearsal.

Then she contacted me again and said she had the wrong day. It was actually tomorrow (Thursday). And she said it paid $175 and was for the retirement party of the director of the local charity, Community Action house, to be held at the Holland Area Arts Council.

I couldn’t turn down the money and I know she needs the money as well so I said okay.

We will do a variety of stuff, Real Book tunes with me improvising, classical pieces probably by Telemann and CPE Bach. The only thing I will need to prepare is some Xmas stuff. Amy is a good reader so all I have to do is photocopy the piano music and she can pick the melody out.

Then, last night, the church accountant (who also works for Community Action House) emailed me that she had a check for me from Community Action House for $100. She didn’t say what for. But unless they have decided to contribute to finances of Jupe out of the goodness of their hearts, it’s probably for the gig.

Great. I’m left wondering if the accountant mentioned the right amount in her email. She probably did. Now I’ll have to contact Amy and ask her about it. I guess I will have no choice but to take the gig anyway. I probably would have if that had the original amount offered. But I wouldn’t have jumped at it with as much enthusiasm.

staff lunch

My boss emailed the staff that she would have “warm soup” available for lunch today. I will have to go. She didn’t mention a vegetarian option so I’m guessing the soup will be carnivore. It’s a pain to make a good vegetarian soup. I will probably put together a salad and show up though my enthusiasm about all things church is definitely low.

I went over late yesterday afternoon to the church to practice organ. I was surprised at how relieved I was that no one else was around.

right notes in Bach

I have been practicing Bach’s G minor prelude from the English Suites (BWV 808). My Wayne State prof, Ray Ferguson, taught this entire suite to me on harpsichord. I am playing it from the Dover Bach Harpsichord music collection which is actually the Bach Gesellschaft edition. I notice that as I play the prelude I change some notes.

I am now playing from my second copy of this collection since i wore the first copy out. I do still have it. So I pulled down the old copy to see if I was changing the right notes. Yes I was. I recall double checking these notes in the new Bach complete works edition at the time. But I was unable to confirm it online since Neue Bach Ausgabe edition (the new one) is not online.

Normally I would simply accept what Ray and I came up with (and still may do so), but I was dismayed to find that in Czerny’s 19th century edition. He had the different notes that I was playing. Dang.

I do like the different notes. And despite reading extensively right now in HIP (Historically Informed Performances) conversations I recall what Ray said to me once. We were talking about the esoteric discussions around how some Baroque music should played. Ray observed philosophically that in reality it didn’t matter which choice one made as a performer. It was startling to realize that he when you think of it in the broader terms, he was right.

It just doesn’t matter.

Jupe’s poetry section of books

Today’s Writer’s Almanac points out that Kenneth Patchen was born on this date, as well as James Wright. I have no Wright sitting on my shelves, but a couple of Patchen volumes sit comfortably between Sylvia Plath and Dorothy Parker.

I pulled down Patchen to read but ultimately returned for a volume of Parker.

I think this might be a picture of the original slip jacked for my edition. But it looks like this:

My copy indicates it is a “twentieth printing.” I think this book also went into editions judging from the images I find on Google Search. Are they using the word, “edition,” for “printings” ? Probably. This first collection by Parker contains one of her famous poems.

I love the feel of this book. I love its thick paper and it’s clear font.

I know I have a copy of The Portable Dorothy Parker somewhere. But this slim beautiful little book is all that is currently in my poetry section. I’m afraid of disturbing my sleeping wife if I go up and rummage around in my fiction to see if the Portable Parker is up there. I’ll check later. In the meantime to the left of Parker is Ovid, but enough.

Xmas spirit

Eileen has been in the doldrums. Yesterday I convinced her to walk downtown with me and Christmas shop. This feels ironic, since I am the bigger Scrooge of the two of us.

I find it interesting that the election of Donald Trump has focused so many people in my life on the bad stuff in America. Certainly it is frightening to contemplate how badly President-elect Trump will hurt America. But, in my view, George W. Bush and Cheney did some irreparable harm a while back. And Trump didn’t invent white nationalism. White racism has held our Depart of Justice in its throes for decades.

I’m frightened. But when frightened, it seems to me that sharing fear not based in action is detrimental and one further step in the social media alienation from ourselves. So while I can listen to my hero, Taj Mahal, remind us that “Maaan if you ain’t scared, you aint right” and realize that he wrote these words when things didn’t seem as out of whack as now (at least for people like me…. safe, white, male, educated, or whatever), I still seek to shake the hysteria and anxiety I feel trying to well up in me.

I found a great recording of Taj Mahal yesterday riding around in the French Quarter of New Orleans and sounded and looking great!

Nevertheless, as I urged my upset chorister the other day when he was feeling so discombobulated, I turn to beauty and insight that I find in poetry, music, and ideas. This doesn’t change much, but helps me feel a bit more balanced as I observe and think about current events.

Hasselback Eggplant with Garlic-Yogurt Sauce – Cook’s Science

This looks great. I’ll have to see if I can find pomegranate molasses.

The Dorothy Parker Project: Enough Rope | Kathryn Lively, Writer

Ran across this nice little essay this morning.

Books

I interlibrary loaned Peter Ackroyd’s book on Ezra Pound. Apparently it has arrived for me. I continue reading the Pound Cantos with help from this online site. And I do enjoy Ackroyd’s prose on just about anything.

This is one of two books I pulled out footnotes in John Butt’s Playing with History. Recording has had an enormous impact on how we think about and do music. I keep learning about it. I interlibrary loaned this and the next book for further examination.

Published in 1996, Culture of the Copy looks good enough to peruse.

Church report

I nailed the prelude yesterday. It was Guilmant’s Offertory for the Third Sunday in Advent on the hymn Creator alme siderum (Creator of the Stars at night) Op. 65. I performed this at the funeral on Thursday and I messed it up. I sometimes use pieces I am planning to play at upcoming services for funerals and weddings and such. I think part of my problem was that I changed the registration (the sounds) to be more gentle for the funeral and then took a wrong tempo (too fast, of course).

This public failure motivated me to practice more for yesterday. That paid off. There were a few more moments of quiet during the prelude. This was a good thing because I stubbornly play the music as it was intended. If the composer writes soft, I play soft. If people don’t want to listen and talk loud while I’m playing soft, that’s their choice.

I do think that romantic organ music like Guilmant’s pieces rely more on registration than some pieces I play. Also I think it’s stylistic to play them a bit more freely.

Also, there were a couple other fun music moments for me yesterday. One was the Canticle. We sang the Magnificat (which was an option instead of the psalm for the day). We did it to a unique Anglican chant by the living composer, David Hurd.

Despite having developed a distaste for this human being via some email exchanges about whether I could register his dam organ music to fit my instrument (“no” he said), I like this chant.

We did it in unison this time. Next time in parts.

The other moment was the last chord of the choral anthem. The anthem was “Go and Tell John” by Lloyd Pfautsch. It’s a standard little anthem that is sort of a faux Spiritual. It’s challenging working with amateur singers. I always try to get the best performance out of them. Yesterday some choristers sang very enthusiastically, These, I had to help with nuance and line. Some were making very silly mistakes. This seemed like concentration problems. These, I needed to conduct clearly so that they knew exactly what their line and entrances were. Both nuance and most of the clarity came through. But when we sang the last chord it was in tune, blended, and downright beautiful. I like that.

When I was talking to Eileen about this this morning she said that I looked happy at the end of the anthem. Interesting.

Enemies or friends

I have been thinking about Lincoln’s first inaugural address. Especially the ending.

We are not enemies, but friends– We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory stretching from every battlefield, and patriot grave, to every living heart and hearthstone, all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”

When he gave this speech, some states had already seceded from the union. A new army of southerners was organizing itself to kill Americans. Believe it or not, it was a worse time than now. But Lincoln found these words. Amazing and encouraging.

On Optimism and Despair | by Zadie Smith | The New York Review of Books

A couple days after the recent election, Smith had this to say while receiving an award. I do admire this writer.

Trump Is a Great Storyteller. We Need to Be Better. – The New York Times

The author of The Sympathizer, Viet Thanh Nguyen, has this to say about what’s happening to us.

A couple of reviews I have bookmarked to read. The later review is a book about Genghis Kahn.

I had a phone call from my boss, Jennifer Adams, around noon yesterday. I was scheduled to come and play a Eucharist for the Diocesan Saint Nicholas workshop being held at our church. Jen said that turnout was very light and that most of the kids present were very young. She had planned a Eucharist with lots of singing of hymns. it would require more than the few adults present. So she canceled.

This actually made my day go better. After lunch Eileen and I visited Mom. Then we drove back to the house and I walked to church to practice and prepare for today. I ran into a choir member who had attended the Saint Nicholas workshop and was not very happy about the Eucharist being canceled. He and I chatted for quite a while. It turns out that he was still trying to reconcile himself emotionally to the election. We had a nice chat.

After that I prepared the choir room for today’s pregame. I also chose organ music for Advent IV. For the prelude, I am planning to repeat a setting of Veni Emmanual by Pamela Decker.

For the postlude, a happy little thing from Norman Dello Joio’s collection, Lyrical Pieces for the Young Organist.

Despite the title, it’s not a super easy piece. It’s called Caccia, but I’m think of simply titling it “Allegro Animato” (the tempo marking) for the bulletin.

It sounds a bit like a hunting song hence the title. But I think it will make an attractive postlude for the last Sunday before Christmas.

Speaking of Dello Joio, my violinist, Amy, gave me a signed photocopy of one of his choral pieces. it is inscribed to her Dad. Very cool.

Greg Lake, of King Crimson and Emerson, Lake and Palmer, Dies at 69 – The New York Times

I didn’t realize the connection between King Crimson and ELP. Also, I didn’t understand the music as attempt to move away from “American influence.” Weird.

Harry Reid: Farewell, Fair Senate – The New York Times

Interesting farewell from Senator Reid.

My violinist and I read through a couple movements of Bach’s violin sonata BWV 1017 on Thursday. When we got to the Adagio, I noticed that she was playing the solo line as though it were a  triplet figure instead of a dotted eighth-sixteen. After we finished the movement I asked her about it. She said that though it was notated that way, it felt more natural to play along with accompaniment.

I have been thinking a lot about things like this lately. I finished the summary section in Stephen E. Hefling’s 1993 book, Rhythmic Alteration in Seventeenth- and Eighteenth- Century Music: Notes Inegales and  Overdotting. This expensive little book that I interlibrary loaned is an extensive survey of sources about playing music differently than it is written.

Hefling is one of a number of scholars I have been reading in an effort to update myself on performance practices. I am finding that Hefling, along with John Butt and others have a much more practical approach to what Butt calls Historical informed Performance.

One of the main insights I am getting from Butt’s book, Playing with History, is the acknowledgement musicians are making that how we make music, even historical music, is more about now than then.

Which brings me back to my violinist’s instinctual change in the music. Amy (her name) is a highly trained musician with many years of experience in symphonic music as well as fiddle music. Her musical sensibilities are strong. Her changing of Bach represents to my mind a practical and beautiful response to the notes on the page. This is what it means that how we make music is more about now than then. We strive to inform ourselves, but ultimately what we do is informed by who we are at the moment and where we are playing and what instruments we are using.

Imagine That – On The Media – WNYC

As I mentioned in yesterday’s blog, I am finding much of the hysteria on the left (my side) off putting. I am a fan of “On the Media,” however, the way they begin this week’s show had me flipping it off and moving to CounterSpin for my media fix this morning while cleaning the kitchen.

In an effort to overcome her and Bob’s own anxiety, Gladstone seems to be saying that the media (CounterSpin calls it the corporate media) failed the public with its own failure of imagination in regards to Trump. We need more imagination, she seems to be saying.

I think this is bunk. What we need is more clarity and better reporting and less transcribing of official statements and tweets of the president Elect. I will return to “On the Media” and finish listening to this episode.

In the meantime, I think that FAIR (Fair and Accuracy in Reporting) does a good job of critiquing the media, even though it’s obvious to me that they share my political point of view. But there’s no denying that they put their finger on things.

I see my readership has declined further. This assumes that Google Analytics “visits” have any significance. This corresponds to my own feelings of being invisible and eccentric. No matter. I continue to experience my daily life as a mixture of interesting engagement with ideas and beauty through reading and music and a sense of living in an exterior environment of hysteria, falsity, and crisis in American life.

The hysteria I experience is largely political. I suppose one could think of people who support our president-elect and ones who view his election with alarm. Although i am clearly in the latter camp, I find both kinds of hysteria off putting. Supporters of Trump seem to have a cavalier attitude about facts and coherence. The anti-Trump camp has created confusion in my mind with its adopting the political language of activism in the absence of actual political activity or even new governmental actions.

Thus hysteria on right and left social media (mainly Facelessbooger)  blurs with daily anxiety I experience in people.

Falsity is a parameter of church work I have experienced all my life. From my point of view, it is fortunate that I have as yet to entirely adapt to it. I am grateful at this time in my life to be associated with church work that is the least objectionable I can imagine and at the same time remunerates me so that Eileen and I can live.

But then there are moments.

Moments like yesterday. My intellectual, emotional, and physical fatigue asserts itself on the days after church work. Mondays and Thursdays are usually days I remind myself that the reason I am grumpy or tired or out of sorts is that I am still in recovery mode. When I am called on to do church work on these days like committee meetings and funerals (yesterday), the recovery takes longer.

As I’m sure you are aware, dear reader (whose numbers are dwindling), funerals in America are fakey. There is always a disconnect between the moment and the events that have led to it. I am reminded of Ed Friedman’s observation that “There is never, you should pardon the expression, a shit suicide” by that he meant we don’t assume that someone who has killed themselves wasn’t a “shit.”

Similarly when ritual is reduced to elegy and numb disregard and misunderstanding of religious rituals not normally part of one’s life, it’s pretty pathetic. As I help lead these moments, I am reminded that living, breathing people are always a mixture of good and bad. We are none of us the ideal person we see in our mind’s eye. And at the same time we are all of us more worthy than we probably think we are. God help those who try to put a label on us especially when mourning.

What’s the Best Music to Listen to While Working? – The Atlantic

Silence for thinking but what about cooking?

live music

At the organ committee meeting Monday, I heard two people describe what happened in churches that got rid of organs as “taking out the organ and putting in live music.”

When I mentioned this to both my wife and my boss (who was there and heard at least one person say it), they were surprised. I guess I wasn’t. Too many bars, street corners and churches where I was part of “live music” that seem like a commodity, I guess.

avoiding crowds

Today I have invited my trio to come to my home to practice instead of the church. Today is what we call “Feeding America” day at Grace. Due to the hardships in people’s lives and the season, they are expecting record numbers. It can be difficult to get in and out of the parking lot along about the time my trio is finishing up.

I continue to watch Donald Trump eviscerate our country. I noticed that his supporters on Facebooger (who still hate liberals, Obama, and me, I guess) linked up the fact that Time has made Trump, man of the year. Of course the article in the magazine is anything but complimentary about this.

I read part of this morning. I continue to observe that our corporate media is not really changing at all. Reality has shifted underneath them, but they continue to try to straddle popular culture and clarity. These two are really incompatible. The conversation has changed. The only antidote that I can see is to side step the old “horse race/popular culture” approach which empties public journalism of content and replaces it with entertainment and movie clips in the service of trying to the bring the “news.”

Some brains would be nice. But in the meantime, trying to find accurate, incisive essays and information online or on the boob toob takes some intrepid effort. One thing is, this search isn’t very crowded.

dream report

I was staying in a chalet with several other college kids. We had all returned to college after a brief hiatus and classes were about to begin again. I couldn’t remember my schedule. I knew that I had an 11 AM class that was a technical class of some sort and also that I was taking a language class later in the day.

I was ransacking my brains and the chalet trying to figure this out. All the other students left. There were still some people milling about. Then I remembered that I had graduated. i had a degree and was no longer enrolled. Huge relief.

unmotivated Tuesday

I don’t really have too much to say today. Yesterday, I had to force myself to go to church and practice. I made myself write a bulletin article first. I wonder if I’m a bit of a sap about my job. I enjoy it, sure. But I can’t help but wonder if after all these years since St. John’s in Oscoda I’m still essentially making a full time gig out of a part time one. At least it pays well even for a part time job.

And I am drawn into continuing to improve my skills as an organist. I methodically practiced the first movement of the G major trio of Bach.  I took a page or two at a time beginning at the ending and working backwards to the beginning. Hands alone, RH and pedal, LH and pedal, then four times through with hands and pedal. This took some time.

Then I turned to the Guilmant pieces I am playing Sunday for the prelude and postlude. Four times through each, dammit. Then the psalm. Again four times through. I notice that my organ student who has just recently taken up study with me again has not moved her music since last Friday. I’m not sure I want to keep taking money from her for lessons if she’s not going to practice. But I’ll wait a bit before making her quit. In all likelihood she’ll lose interest before I do.

This Sunday’s bulletin article

Music note Our Advent “Kyrie” and “Holy, Holy” were composed by Frank Boles in 2003 for use during  Advent. They are based on a melody taken from a ninth century chant which is found in the Hymnal 1982, “Creator of the Stars of Night,” # 60. The same melody is also used for the hymn for the lighting of lamps in transition from daylight to evening,   Hymnal 1982 #26, “O Gracious Light.” (also found in the 1979 Book of Common Prayer. at pp. 64 and 118). We will sing the first three stanzas of Hymn 60 next week in our annual celebration of Advent Lessons and Carols.

Alexandre Guilmant (1837-1911) composed today’s prelude and postlude for use on the Third Sunday of Advent. They are taken from his ten volume  L’Organiste Liturgiste pour Orgue ou Harmonium. He conceived of this lengthy work as a tribute to Bach’s organ chorale settings, especially as organized in the Orgelbüchlein (“Little Organ Book”) BWV 599−644. Both Bach and Guilmant wrote pieces based on chants and chorales which evoke various season of the church year.  Guilmant was writing before the Roman Catholic Church standardized its modern use of chant in the Liber Usalis (1923), the work of the Benedictine monks at The Abbey of Saint-Pierre de Solesmes in France.

Once again our Sunday morning Eucharist draws on a long span of Christian musical masterpieces from the ninth century to the present. submitted by Steve Jenkins, Music Director

I was planning to practice yesterday after the organ committee meeting. Rev Jen, two parishioners, and I met with our architect. We went over plans to prepare the back of the church for the installation of the new organ next year.

This includes some radical changes. The air conditioning units are to be boxed in over the chapel. This is where they now sit. But in the summer one cannot hear anything but air conditioner in the music area and back of the church when it is on.

In addition the wall of the chapel will be reinforced and made harder by the addition of layers of plywood under the present type of veneer. This is expedited by the fact that much of this wall will need to be altered anyway. To the far right facing the chapel there will need to be a small closet protruding from the wall to house the sound system. This will be accessible from the chapel but the hum of this unit will not longer be able to be heard in the room.

The present door in the middle of the wall is to be moved to the far left. All of this entails changing the wall anyway so it will be a good time to reinforce it to be a reflective surface as well.

The front of the choir area is to be converted to three small steps all the way across presented in a slightly curved manner.

There was much discussion about the piano in the room. One parishioner was particularly resistant to moving some pews to accommodate a larger area for a decent baby grand. She couched her objections in language about it not being a concert hall. Rather quickly there after the architect pointed out that the design would actually be more like a concert hall.

I also had to present my case for a baby grand versus an upright.

It looks like I pretty much lost this in this meeting. They decided to house the piano (an upright) directly behind the organ bench in the front of the choir area. It would actually be inset in the stairs. There are also plans to create a collapsible section of stairs that would be housed behind the piano. This would enable the piano to be moved out and the stairs pulled out to create an unbroken three steps across the choir area. Presumably this would be another step in which we would consider purchasing and finding a place for a baby grand.

During the discussion of the sound system, the committee considered putting a sound proof door over the sound system in the chapel. This created the problem of not having ventilation for the amplifiers. Instead of a sound proof door there, why not turn off the system when the chapel is being used. Can it be turned off? wondered some of the committee. The rest of us pointed out that loss of power would certainly cause it be turned off.

Later when we were in the church visualizing changes, the power went off. The sound system started beeping frantically in the dark. A young man in a yellow electrician’s helmet and uniform came in and asked us to move our cars because “we had a situation.”

So much for practicing organ.

Trump’s Threat to the Constitution – The New York Times

This guy’s a Republican who seems appalled at Trump’s appalling ignorance.

100 Notable Books of 2016 – The New York Times

Always an interesting list.

talking to the dead

I spend my days in the company of my beloved wife but also in the company of great minds of composers and writers.

I see this existence as one of conversation. To the realist, I must appear delusional. And this is understandable. One person said to me regarding this that while I can listen to the dead in their music, poetry and other writings, they cannot hear me, thus it is not a conversation.

I am comfortable with my delusion. I was also comforted that the narrator of Browning’s poem, “Sordello,” has a similar delusion.

 but few
Friends fate accords me? Here they are: now view
The host I muster! Many a lighted face
Foul with no vestige of the grave’s disgrace;
What else should tempt them back to taste our air
Except to see how their successors fare?
My audience! and they sit, each ghostly man
Striving to look as living as he can,
Brother by breathing brother; thou art set,
Clear-witted critic, by . . . but I ‘ll not fret
A wondrous soul of them, nor move death’s spleen
Who loves not to unlock them.

playing bach’s english suites in a french style

I’ve always wondered about names of the two groups of keyboard suites by Bach called “English suites” and “French suites.” I see few stylistic indications which would cause them to be called these names. So when I read recently in Hefling’s book on Rhythmic Alteration that when thinking about French practice in the 17th and 18th century, he writes

though “Telemann and J.S. Bach …. were well acquainted with the French style from early their careers… many passages of intricate harmony in Bach’s so-called “French” Suites (BWV 812-17) for keyboard could hardly have been written in Paris, and several movements do not resemble French models….” [Stephen J. Hefling, Rhythmic Alterations in Seventeenth- and Eighteen-Century Music: Notes Inégales and Overdotting, 1993, p. 144

Two pages earlier in this text Hefling s summarizes contemporary sources ideas on tempos:

“According to writers such as L’Affilard, Pajot [Count D’Onzembray], Choquel, and Quantz, a courante, for example, should move in the vicinity of M.M. 80-90 to the beat, a gavotte should be taken somewhere between 97 and 152 to the half note; and the beat of a gigue should be about 100 to 120, perhaps even as fast as 160.”

This is a handy place to start when trying to figure out the tempos to suites both French and German.

cat report

Edison is gobbling up baby food and kitten versions of cat food. The cortisone shot seems to have made a difference although it took 24 hours to kick in. I don’t know if we are extending his life in the face some sort of dire disease but at least he is much like his old self and seems pretty regular. I’m supposed to report to the vet this week. If he begins to lose appetite or show other symptoms of lethargy, I think they will give him another cortisone shot.

couple more birky observations

When we discussing performance anxiety and taking musical risks last Friday, Dr. Birky told me a colleague of his defines mental health with three concepts:

1. owning one’s own feelings

2. accepting consequences of one’s actions

3. being willing to take risks

I told him this seemed like a definition of living to me.

He also mentioned brain studies that show certain parts of the brain lighting up in men and women. A female brain is a bit more likely to show evidence of expression and talking to process situations. A male brain more likely to have its problem solving areas light up a bit.

The “Aha” in this for me is that while Eileen and I tend to have reverse stereotypes in these areas (she’s the problem solver, I’m the blabber), it may be that we could benefit from paying attention to these attributes in more typical gender ways. Again this means for my part I need to keep trying to  learn to be able to keep my damn trap shut when needed.

Kobach, Brownback and post-truth Kansas | The Wichita Eagle

Peng Chang-kuei, Chef Behind General Tso’s Chicken, Dies at 98 – The New York Times

 

Andrew Sachs, Hapless Waiter on the BBC Sitcom ‘Fawlty Towers,’ Dies at 86 – The New York Times

Que?

Automatic Voter Registration a ‘Success’ in Oregon – The New York Times

some good news in a dark time

The Seven Habits of Highly Depolarizing People – Better Angels

“Hang it all, Robert Browning,

..the .. there can be but one “Sordello.”
But Sordello and my Sordello?”

This is beginning of Pound’s second canto in Cantos. I have read these lines for years and love the way they sound. I also like Robert Browning quite a bit and picked up twelve volumes of his works at a library sale. years ago So when I was reading about the poem “Sordello” by Browning and a critic said something about it being a masterpiece, this morning instead of turning to Pound I began reading “Sordello.” I was delighted to find that my ancient creaky edition of his works has an essay and notes on this lengthy poem in the back. Cool.

Bach organ trios

A post or two back I mentioned that Peter Williams said that playing the organ trios can give a keyboard player a unique sort of feeling between the voices he is playing distinct from instruments playing the independent lines. I promised that I might put up the quote which inspired me to think about this. Here it is.

“The Sonatas make a world of their own, as distinctive and accomplished as the first movements of Leipzig cantatas or the preludes and fugues of WTCI. The two hands are not merely imitative but so planned as to give a curious satisfaction to the player, with phrases answering each other and syncopations dancing from hand to hand, palpable in a way not quite known even to two violinists.” Peter Williams, The Organ Music of J.S. Bach: Second edition, p. 9

Yesterday I worked over the first movement of the sixth trio. I discovered that the articulation marks in it, the slurs mostly, make an interesting argument for some separation in non-marked sections. There is a logic to the slurs. Bach put some slurs over repeated notes. It’s logical, then, to assume that this means repeated notes in this piece without slurs should be played more separately.

Here’s an screen shot from Bach-Gesellschaft Ausgabe, Band 15

or in Bach’s manuscript (don’t you love the interwebs?)

Although yesterday organ practice seemed to be a difficult one for me (had trouble concentrating), I learned a lot about this movement by thinking more carefully about the marked slurs. Cool.

Annotations for Pound’s Cantos

It took me some time this morning, but I found annotations for Pound’s Cantos online. It would seem like Joyce texts, the Cantos would be a natural for hyperlinks or annotations online.

Cat report

Edison is still out of sorts. I managed to give him a pill on Friday morning. I thought I had given it to him the night before, but it turns out what I gave him was an empty “pill pocket.” When I called yesterday  morning to ask about it, I learned that I was supposed to put the appetite stimulant pill in the second of the two “pill pockets” and give it to Edison. The first one was to see if he would eat them. He gobbled down the first one (empty) on Thursday evening and the second one on Friday morning.

But he is being very picky about what cat food he eats. He refused everything but baby food during the day. I purchased some kitty style canned food and he ate that. This morning (while I was TRYING to sleep) he acted hungry, but I couldn’t figure out what I did with the leftover kitty canned food (I put it back in the cupboard! Damn! Can’t feed that to him.) so I offered him some more baby food. He picked at it eventually eating it.

I think I should probably take him in for a cortisone shot today. It seems to be the consensus of the concerned humans that this is the route to go with Edison’s care. The other choice is to kick everything up a notch and get a referral to a Cat oncologist in Grand Rapids. The idea is that Edison may have some sort of cancer that doesn’t show up on the vet’s x-ray. However, pursuing this approach could easily make Edison’s quality of life lousy for a good long time with no guarantee of extending his life very long beyond aggressive treatment.

Edison update

After writing the above, I called Eileen and we decided I should take the cat in for a cortisone shot which I just did. His weight is about the same. The vet said the cortisone has multiple effects including making the cat more comfortable and stimulating his appetite. I’m supposed to get back to them next week with a report on how Edison is doing.

It surprises me how tired I feel this morning. Some of this might be the way Edison interrupted my sleep last night but who knows?

Dr. Birky report

I enjoyed my session with my therapist, Dr. Birky, yesterday. It’s hard not to wonder if I am just paying this man to talk wviith and listen to me. How pathetic is that?

I shared with him the insight I had recently talking to Eileen. In a relationship, one can’t really help the other person, one can only help oneself. But It IS possible to unhelpful to each other. My goal is to not be unhelpful to Eileen. It’s not as easy as it sounds and involves shutting my goddam mouth more.

The Seven Habits of Highly Depolarizing People – Better Angels

This article came across my Vicebook (Facebook) feed recently. Good stuff.

team teaching at work

I met with my boss, Jen Adams, yesterday. As usual it was a good meeting. I had several things I wanted to talk to her about. One of them was the worship commission meeting on Monday evening. At that meeting, I talked more than usual. We met in the basement to discuss how to do Sunday Eucharist there while the church was being refurbished to accommodate the new organ.

Jen had arranged the chairs and set up a table so that we could think about how to do Eucharist there. She stood in front for the most part. I kept brainstorming ideas and talking about meaning much the way I do in our private meetings. I was allowing the rest of the committee to see how intentional and thoughtful Jen can be.

In our weekly meeting yesterday, she agreed with me that it was a kind of team teaching. My liturgical understandings come to the fore in this kind of a conversation. Usually I don’t do that much talking at Worship Commission. But it was good to hear that it had been effective.

performing bach trio sonatas on the organ

Yesterday I counted. I have performed over half of the 18 movements of Bach’s 6 trios for organ. This surprises me. But I’m also glad. It helps me understand that my technique on the organ is not as bad as I often think of it as being.

I played through trio 5 yesterday. I will probably work carefully through trio 6 today. These pieces make excellent etudes this way. I am regaining an appreciation of their musical value as well. Peter Williams remarks (I believe) that in these piece Bach establishes a relationship between the lines in the left and right hand that is uniquely keyboard in its design and meaning. This is in contrast to emulating instrumental writing slavishly.

I often think of the independent lines in Bach’s keyboard music as transcriptions of instrumental lines. I love hearing these piece actually performed in instrumental ensembles. Regaining an appreciation for their uniquely keyboard attributes is fun as well. I’ll have to look up that quote in which Williams makes this observation.

No time, now, though. I have to have breakfast and drive away to see Dr. Birky my shrink this morning.

Here’s what I’m listening to this morning. I love this music and the movie, Tous les matins du monde Soundtrack:

sooprise! sooprise!

It’s Thursday and I amuse myself by noticing that I woke up feeling desperately inadequate and exhausted. Oh, that’s right. Choir rehearsal was last night.

Eileen’s Mom is ill. Eileen’s sister, Nancy, accepted Eileen’s offer to come up and spend a couple nights with her Mom to relieve Nancy. Eileen got up early and just left so that she will be at her Mom’s when the people coming to fix the phones arrive.

pronouncing “bade”

We are learning William Walton’s beautiful choral anthem, “What Cheer?”

It’s a bit tricky but doable I think. Last night as I was working on it with the choir, a chorister asked another how to pronounce the word “bade.” Instantly (in the middle of working with these choristers on learning the notes and rhythms), there was a discussion of how to do this  with one chorister being particularly emphatic (dare I say angry?) in his insistence that the word was pronounced to rhyme with “mad.”

He was right.

However, I misunderstood his reasoning. He was trying to say that in any situation this is the correct pronunciation. I thought he was trying to make the anthem rhyme properly due to the way he explained himself.

I pointed out that I was under the delusion that I was the choir director and that for now we would pronounce it “bayed” so that we could concentrate on learning notes. I probably did say it that clearly or even that diplomatically.

I promised the choir a couple of links to pieces we are learning including the Walton, so I came home after rehearsal and sent them off, pointing out that the chorister was insisted the word was pronounced to rhyme with “mad” was correct as could be clearly heard in the recording.

I was still smart a bit this morning after last evening’s rehearsal so I got up and researched it. This is how I proceed. I rarely make decisions just on the advice of choristers no matter how learned they are.

There was an entry in Garner’s Modern English Usage which was helpful. I also checked it out in the OED.

I have to meet my boss today. She was too busy yesterday. So that’s all for today. Here’s a play list I made this morning of another wonderful Bach piece I played through several times this morning to restore a semblance of sanity to the old Jupe brain.

many sick jenkinses

I seem to have a lot of ill Jenkinses in my life these days. Eileen is still recovering from her illness and is feeling down on top of that. Edison the cat is still sick but seems to be eating better since the vet gave him an appetite stimulant. We’re supposed to call the vet today with an update. It looks like it will be a good one.

I haven’t been visiting my Mom since her nursing home is on a lock down, quarantining residents to their rooms since the day after Mom’s birthday. I dropped by yesterday and she was still sick in bed with gastric problems. Apparently my son, David, has returned to the hospital still not diagnosed and not improving.

bach organ trios

I have been changing my thinking about the six Bach organ trios (BWV 525-520). I have worked my way through them before and even performed several of them at churches I have worked at. I had forgotten how lovely some of them actually are since I don’t think of them as strong as some of Bach’s other compositions as music. But as etudes for organists they are probably unsurpassed in developing independent thinking of hands and feet.

Yesterday I carefully worked through all movements of the third one. So far i have done this with the first three. I love it when i can hear recordings with instruments on the three lines. Here’s one of the one I played through yesterday.

The second movement of this sonata was the first Bach organ trio I learned. Ray Ferguson taught it to me.

I think I’m dreading not having access to an organ. My friend, Rhonda, has offered her church as a place I could practice. I also am trying to muster the courage to ask the local organ prof if I can practice at Hope some. I have a history with this dude that dates back to  my undergraduate work at Wayne State when he challenged Ray Ferguson, my then teacher.

Ray always said that though this dude’s behavior was unnerving to him (Ray), he figured that he was just patterning himself on the way teachers had behaved in his Alma Mater. Ray won this little battle and the man who is now the organ teacher at Hope moved on.

But neither he nor I have forgotten that I was Ray’s student at that time and witnessed his bad behavior. I tried to patch up with him a few years ago. But I don’t think that worked since he refuses to “friend” me on the stupid stupid fecesbooger (Facebook).

But I would like to practice organ at Hope while my organ is out of commission. I also want to ask if I could get some practice time on a harpsichord there. Sigh. I’m not even sure this dude knows that I am a harpsichordist. Ah well. When my organ is finally gone (January), I will be forced to either make arrangements to practice or not practice. I’m pretty sure the latter solution is untenable for me.

deep reading

Not only have I returned to Pound’s Cantos, yesterday I picked up an interlibrary copy of Top 10 Collection Edition Book I, a compilation of comic books written by Alan Moore.

So far I love it.

new york times app stops, had to find something else to do while treadmilling

I have been discouraged about not exercising. Of course, I haven’t felt all that well. However, this Sunday I walked back and forth to church twice. This constituted 2 miles of walking in my estimation.

On Monday I walked to church to practice, another mile. Yesterday I gave myself the modest goal of treadmilling for a mile. Usually I time my treadmilling and do 45 minutes. I say usually, but it’s been a long while since I have treadmilled with any regularity.

So after practicing organ I came home determined to treadmill at least for a mile. It ended up being about 25 minutes worth.

But yesterday morning my New York Times app on my tablet could not find Tuesdays paper. It seemed stuck on Monday. I could access the paper via my computer but not my tablet. I usually read the paper on my tablet while I treadmill so I had to come with something else. The something else was a play list of John Butt talking about his performances and live recordings of some of his performances. That worked. I am learning a ton from my reading in music historical practice these days. I admire the fact that Butt is a performer/scholar.

Here’s the playlist embedded if you’re curious. I just found it. I didn’t make the playlist.