i’m so confused


I’m up early. No one else seems to be awake. I have cleaned the kitchen. Then over coffee I read a few poems from my recently interlibrary loaned copy of Lars Gustafsson’s The Stillness of the World before Bach. This book has been sitting and waiting for me to check it out.

Image result for lars gustafsson the stillness of the world after bach

I read several poems and then I ordered myself a copy of this book, used from Amazon. The poems are translated from Swedish I believe. Nice stuff. I can’t find any of the poems I read this morning online in English. So I can’t share the actual poems without typing them in.

Yesterday was a long day for me. We began with a family trip to the Farmers Market. Then we went in search of a birthday cake for Alex. We came home and I sat down to do some work. Eileen, Elizabeth, and Alex later walked up to the Dollar Store and also the Toy Store looking for stuff for the birthday including a baby doll for Alex.

Eileen’s Mom gave Alex a heavy snow globe that fascinated Alex. It is an unfortunate choice for people traveling. Elizabeth was not involved in the decision. We have been hiding the globe in hopes that Alex will forget it. Otherwise I did offer to ship it to them. I wonder what it would be like to go through security with a big piece of metal like that (the base is metal).

Then in the afternoon, I went to church to work and give a piano lesson.  My student continues to not practice. I don’t think it occurs to him how this reflects on his respect both of piano and his teacher. He doesn’t blink at paying me to basically help him practice once a week. I continue to do the lesson because I am quite fond of him. Sick stuff, right?

At least it’s disheartening.


Speaking of disheartening, while we were celebrating Alex’s soon to come third birthday with cake and pizza, I noticed I had received an email from my boss. I think she and her life partner are back in town, but she is wisely staying away from the office (to the best of my knowledge).

Earlier in the day I had submitted a confusing choir recruitment announcement. In her emailed response, Jen pointed out that I had put the wrong date in the announcement for the “Kick off Sunday” which was to be the choir’s first Sunday. She also made some editorial changes in the announcement, something I encourage her to do.

I remained confused. But here’s what I think happened. Yesterday when I went to write the announcement I looked on the church’s calendar to confirm the date of “Kick off Sunday” this year. It was wrong but I didn’t realize it. After I received Jen’s email I figured that I had previously informed my choir by email of the start dates incorrectly. I then decided that I would go with what I told my choir in the email. But I didn’t double check this. I simply shot an email off to Jen and the office with what I thought were correction to the original confused announcement.

With me so far? It’s helpful to remember I’m sitting in my living room trying to enjoy the rare presence of my daughter, Elizabeth, and grand daughter, Alex. Okay, okay. I was also half way through my evening martini when I tried to deal with this.

Last night around midnight I woke up and realized that the only thing mistaken had been the botched announcement I made up yesterday and the church calendar (I admitted that I probably put the Kick Off Sunday incorrectly on the calendar myself earlier in the summer but I did change it during the birthday party to reflect Jen’s correction). However, I HAD originally informed the choir correctly.

So in bed, in the dark, in the middle of the night, I emailed everyone with this tasty morsel of failure combined with a final correction for the choir recruitment announcement to go in this weekend’s bulletin.

I will be sure and stop by the office today and see if any of this makes sense to Mary, the administrator who does the bulletin.

Sheesh. Maybe it’s time for Jupe to be put out to pasture.

Related image

Spanish Thrives in the U.S. Despite an English-Only Drive – The New York Times

Some interesting facts in this. More Spanish speakers in the USA than Spain. However, when I was in Barcelona, a shopkeeper informed me that what is spoken in Mexico is not Spanish. ????

Trump Takes Aim at the Press, With a Flamethrower – The New York Times

I found a new website from this article: US Press Freedom Tracker. They are also on Facebook.

Amateur Hour: Karin Rehnqvist, The City’s Choir, and the Gift that Kept Giving | NewMusicBox

I have often thought that I am basically an amateur, but that’s because the root etymology of “loving” music.

A Chinese Poet’s Unusual Path From Isolated Farm Life to Celebrity – The New York Times

Interesting story.

Trump and McConnell Locked in a Cold War, Threatening the G.O.P. Agenda – The New York Times

These two men are not currently speaking. Weird. The Republicans control the government but remain torn by factions and disagreements.

Confederate Statues and ‘Our’ History – The New York Times

Eric Foner, the author of this article, is a historian and thinker I admire and follow. Bookmarked to read.

Karl Ove Knausgaard: By the Book – The New York Times

I regularly listen to this guy read V.S. Naipaul’s short story, “Jack’s Garden.” I realized I haven’t read anything he has written. But I do like Naipaul. And his voice is soothing.

The One I Love (2014) – IMDb

Recommended by Elizabeth. We will have to check it out later.

Written by someone raised by White Nationalists, but didn’t buy it. He’s now studying history.

I have been a fan of this man since I was a young teenager. I thought his later involvement with weird health and conspiracy theories was a bit out there. But I loved his political stuff.

I don’t think  I have posted this here. I love learning about how people practice. Even though this is just a stub of an article behind a firewall, there is still stuff to be learned from it (at least for me). I am thinking of trying to get a look at the entire article. It’s very likely sitting on the shelves at Hope College.

4 thoughts on “i’m so confused

  1. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Fix it & move on. Life’s too short! Damn I hate when it happens, tho…Your choir is lucky to have you!

    1. I hasten to point out that my boss is extremely understanding and easy to work with even when I mess up a little. Also Mary Miller was very gracious in the way she responded (No problem). I’m lucky to be working with such good people.

  2. I periodically listen to that Knausgaard, too. It’s soothing. Something about the way he reads it reminds me of hypnotherapy. I tried one of his books in audio form but found it way too serious.

    I love you! X x x

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