i survived


Two hours of performing classical music and jazz with my friend, Amy, didn’t take too much of a toll on me. I was glad. Aging is tricky. Is my fatigue related to my schedule, my age, or some form of depression? So I am tired this morning but not exhausted.

I suppose we were in a well to do home in a fancy suburb of Holland. The party was catered. The daughter of the anniversary couple tipped us $40 after we had played. Most of the people at the party stood away from us across an area of comfy chairs and sofas. They felt distant. Occasionally someone would come over and assure us they were listening and they appreciated us. Once, a young boy sat on a nearby sofa and listened intently as we played.

I played a Yamaha home electric piano owned by the husband of the anniversary couple. The keys were not as weighted as my own Yamaha. The sound was not terribly good, but I was glad not to have to haul my own equipment to perform. My electric piano doesn’t sound that good anyway.

My friend Rhonda must have read about me preparing piano duets since she emailed me yesterday. We are planning to meet this Wednesday to play some.

I was discouraged when i weighed this morning.

I am gaining weight. And of course I have a doctor’s appointment Tuesday. I am planning to contact Ann McKnight this week. She is the second therapist Rev Jen recommended to me. When I called last week her answering machine said she was out of town until tomorrow.

I’m not convinced that I am suffering from a dire mental illness, but I will continue to pursue this.

McKnight is not covered by our insurance. It’s possible there might be a way to submit her fees as an out of network provider. I’ve asked Eileen to check into this. If McKnight doesn’t work out, I will return to John Gibson.

This all will cost money out of pocket apparently.

We spent a bit more money than we should have this pay period. The $270 from yesterday’s gig will go right in the account to cover bills (and possibly shrink fees).

The Voter Support Agency Accused of Suppressing Votes – The New York Times

I now understand the weird campaign to stop Americans from voting in several ways. There is the obvious idea that Republicans benefit from lower voter turn out.

But McChesney also postulates that the depoliticization of our society via loss of franchise benefits the oligarchy (which is not limited to a political party). It echoes the “bread and circuses” notion of ancient Rome. And of course racism drives the American dream.

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