I am not not not in denial

job hunting

No post yesterday because I spent most of the morning chatting with daughter Sarah on the web cam.  She is very discouraged about her current job hunt. Bah.

During the last 48 hours I have been trying to “friend” a bunch  of local yokels on Facebook, mostly reaching out to people whom I have something in common with. I notice that Facebook doesn’t keep track of who you request “friending” with.  Probably wise.

ideas, ideas, ideas.....

I count that I have recently made about 21 “friend” confirmation requests. 10 of these associated with Hope College and GVSU & daughter Sarah’s art school. Six of these confirmed me.  There is some overlap in this group with church people. 7 of the 21 are people from church. 4 of these have confirmed me. Over all of the 21, 15 people have quickly responded with a confirmation.

I am doing this because I feel like I am very poor at building social connections. This is tricky because I am really the only person who can change this. At the same time as many people have wryly observed, I insist on being myself.

So asking for confirmation as a “friend” on Facebook is kind of a fun way to sort of play with this.

Unfortunately if people do not confirm me as a contact on Facebook, it is difficult to know exactly what this means.  Sometimes it means people are not all that active so don’t even notice I have asked to connect.

I also wonder if people even know who I am locally. Eileen assures me that I sort of stand out (and I do understand her point), but at the same time I notice that people often don’t notice stuff I notice…. So who knows?

I am not necessarily desperate to increase my number of “friends” on Facebook. I am definitely interested in connecting with people who have potential for common interests like music and literature. That’s actually something I try to do in real life. With admittedly limited success.

But what the hell, archie, toujours gai toujours gai. There’s some life in the old gal yet….. as mehitabel the cat says….

SnoopyDance.gif Snoopy dance 3 image by KristieJenner

Finished a biography of Mendelssohn last night. Also read Junot Diaz’s new short story (link to New Yorker story here]. Did some fairly serious piano practice yesterday afternoon. Trying to work up my part to the Mendelssohn piano trio in D minor, first movement. I also have an idea of learning another 2 movements of Messiaen’s Regards

Regards de l’Esprit de Joie & Regards de la Croix (Gaze of the joyful Spirit and Gaze of the Cross).

I couldn’t find a free recording of the second one, but since Sarah commented that she skips over the music talk but would be more interested if I had clips, so here’s a [link] to a youtube version of the first one.

During the last two paragraphs I had a doctor’s appointment. I was worried that I had gained some weight and that she would do a digital prostate exam (eeyoooooo). Instead my blood pressure was significantly elevated (100/50).

Shoot. My doctor added a mild diuretic to my daily drug regimen and asked me to monitor my blood pressure using store machines as well as my little home kit and call her in 4 weeks. If it’s still elevated she will prescribe a new stronger drug. Yuck.

I rushed over and picked up my Mom to take her to her Miracle Ear (hearing aid people) appointment. She was ten minutes late.

I have been experiencing a tad less conscious anxiety, but suspect I might be doing a bit more denial than usual. Dang.

I’m at Panera now. I rebelled and had a spinach/asparagus souffle and a latte. Probably need to think seriously about losing some more weight. Bah.

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