poor me

I cooked up a pretty good New Years/Xmas meal for family yesterday. My niece, her fiancee and my nephew had to skip coming over and sharing with us due to inclement weather.

Photo:The electric cooker

I cooked up a turkey roast which was a bit better than the one I served my wife and mother recently. I had foolishly purchased a turkey loaf thinking my wife and mother would not mind. They were of course gracious but remarked on the difference. This was Thanksgiving. After Thanksgiving the small turkey roasts were on sale. I picked one up and put it in the freezer and served it yesterday.

I did manage to get a tiny bit of piano playing in despite having company. I am always fearful it is rude to sit down and play but think it was probably okay yesterday. I keep thinking about Satie, Ned Rorem and the Fitzwilliam Virginal book and played little bits of them yesterday:

Satie Nocturnes 5 & 2,

Ned Rorem

Rorem Barcarolles 1 & 2

and an Allemande by William Byrd from the Fitzwilliam Virginal book.

We exchanged gifts without the rest of the people being present. I had wrapped up a bunch of silly stuff for my guests. This was a bit less effective without the whole crowd but was fine.

Mark and Leigh bought me an elegant edition of Ackroyd’s retelling of Canterbury Tales:

Very nice.

I haven’t treadmilled in two days and am only just starting to feel the lack of it. I have been standing in the kitchen most of the time so that my body is getting some exercise.

Today I have to plan more anthems for tomorrow’s post game rehearsal.

I am looking at renaissance anthems and have some stuff sort of in mind. Probably should rehearse tomorrow’s prelude and postlude as well.

I am dealing with some depression.

This is probably due to holiday silly stuff. Poor me.


I got up early this morning and wrote in my journal before writing this post. Xmas has really been a good time. I got to cook and even play a bit of piano. But underlying my fun was a bit of a darker mood. About me. Being a musician who is essentially rootless and independent (no colleagues, no connection to professional stuff like college or recording) sometimes leaves me a bit insecure I guess. Thrown entirely on my own resources and motivations and understandings. I do have many imaginary conversations with my past teachers and great composers and writers. This is the life I have chosen and I would choose it again.

As I cooked yesterday I played bits and pieces of Northwestern U’s version of the Magic Flute. This music helps me tremendously. [link to Google video of the first act]

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