I was thrashing about at church today. There is finally a new copy machine, but you have to put in an access code to use it. And then it’s at least two more keystrokes to a simple copy. The code is very simple and was on the wall near the machine but it still felt like someone tripping me and laughing. I began sputtering at the secretary who was there (not the usual lady).
I admit I was in a foul mood, but that’s not excuse. After I bitched for a while, the priest came in and I bitched at her. I felt stupid for doing it, but if I hadn’t it would have felt like I was complaining behind her back. I know. I know. It’s Maundy Thursday and everything. I’m over stressed. The web we weave between us is over stressed (this is a Friedman comment).Â I felt embarressed about fussing at my priest whom I like a great deal.
IÂ went off and tried to prepare for this evening feeling dumb. After I sorted out the copies I need for this evening, I thought I would practice organ. I needed to go over a few things and it might calm me down.
As I was playing, I noticed two little girls who had been lurking around the church today. They were obviously in their own make believe world and were sort of sneaking and hoping I wasn’t going to stop them from whatever they were doing. I didn’t of course.
As I launched into a Bach chorale prelude, I became aware that they were quietly sitting about five feet from me and listening intently. They sat there for the entire piece. After I finished, I looked at them and smiled. I told them I was done. They smiled and got up and walked away.
After that I felt better. Went downstairs and apologized to the secretary. Good grief. Thank goodness for kids.