one computer healed, one sick

I just got back from the computer doctor. Apparently the registry was corrupt. In the meantime, my back up computer was acting up.

I was doing some recording and noticed that the mic was picking up the computer noise. So I shut down. When I tried to restart the dang thing did what it did before and only came up to an E screen (it’s an E machine).

I am using recording for writing this time. This means instead of writing a song and then recording it, I am recording ideas while I am still writing the song. There are plusses and minuses to this. I don’t have too much in the way of lyrics yet but basically have a verse and chorus of a song with some ideas about how it should sound.

Anyway, I took the sick computer in and picked up the healed on and am now writing from it.

I do think it’s pretty much a necessity for me these days to be connected to the Net.

war is awful

Humvee doors trap troops USATODAY

Once again the military personnel are on the short end of the stick. It drives me crazy that politicians use the military as a reason to stay in Iraq and a stick to beat each other with. Isn’t the military a tool not a policy?  Staying in Iraq is not about the lives we have sacrificed or sufficiently funding our military. It’s a policy decision.

I have difficulty condoning war at all. I am reminded of the late Kurt Vonnegut’s comment that when Bush called himself the “war president” it was as ridiculous and inappropriate as if he called himself the “syphillus president.” War is awful. It combines the worse aspects of the violence of human nature with the insipid evil of institutions. Just my opinon.

talking to a dead author and to a dead composer

So. I don’t think people in the United States have been educated enough into thoughtful reasoning. Voters vote against their own self interest. Taxes get cut, but then so do services and people blame leaders. Being a leader becomes very uncomfortable. So then the only people willing to serve are extremely ambitious, obsessive, angry or partisan. In his book, “Servant Leadership,” Greenleaf mentions that leaders need to be cultivated and sought out by  groups. Today leaders are shot down constantly in our society, figuratively and literally. So only the grimly determined survive, usually questionably motivated.

Library services are being cut severely in Michigan. Education is being cut. Whose responsibility is it? The politicians? Nope. It’s everyone’s responsibility. Right now when I hear complaining, I respond (usually inside my head but not always, sometimes outloud) what’s happening in our state and country must be what people want to have happen.

Education must be a lower priority than less taxes. Bush got re-elected because a majority of voters subscribe to some or most of his policies. I disagree with both of this situations but am willing to accept that I am in the minority and will continue to exercise my responsibility as a citizen to inform myself and vote and even write a letter to somebody once in a while.

Reading a book requires sustaining thought. Sustaining thought longer than the number of lines on a screen or minutes in a television broadcast. It takes thought to look beyond the propaganda of most of the news reporting in the world, much less in the USA. Partisans are often surprised when their agendas are applied to themselves or someone they love. I think this is a lack of foresight or reasoning.

When I am asked to explain why Proust is important to me I usually feel like I do a lousy job. Then I remember that Proust took seven volumes to say what he had to say. And that he had a fine mind that I continue to learn from.

Conversation can illuminate. And in some way I think of reading as extended conversation. Proust has taught me things about life experience, memory and the “aha” moment.  There is so much more to his ideas than the basic shock of unbid memories that come to him from his teacup.

I guess I think that community is the womb of ideas. The concept of community is very weak in the USA right now. I look to my small group of friends and family but even more so to the people  who have recorded their responses to living.

This means books, music, poetry and art.

Recently I have been playing through the music of an obscure Cuban-American composer, Rene Touzet. Since he is obscure, it intensifies the effect that his notions about music (playfulness, dance, elegance) come directly from him to me via the notes he wrote down (mostly in his old age). It is like a transmission from him (now dead) to me through the medium of beauty. He is teaching me even though we will never meet.

This is true to some extent of much of the music, poetry and writing I read. It’s why I seek out the stuff of the past. Not because I think it is a heritage I need to preserve but because it continues to help me learn how to live and enjoy life.

just another rant – read at your own risk

I didn’t think I would be writing this post this morning. My back-up computer died last night. It was running very slowly and when I tried to restart took so long that I did an improper shut-down (i.e. turned off the power) and then it refused to come back. It would boot up to the black e-machine screen and that’s as far as I could get it. I gave up and read Proust.

I am re-reading Lydia Davis’s translation of Swann’s way, the first volume of Proust.  I don’t remember finishing it. I honestly don’t remember reading it, but I have notes up through about a third of it. The new translation of Proust has a different translator for each of the seven volumes. It seems to me if I had finished the first volume I would have ordered the second. That’s my plan anyway. I tend to wait and order the next book I want to read by an author when I can see I am just about finished with the current one.

I get the distinct feeling that less and less people are reading books these days. I guess it’s not that big a deal. Book readers have always been a minority. Michigan is suffering under tons of budget cuts. Our Republican problems predate the country’s. Govenor Engler cut taxes and then on the eve of his last days in office cut education funding entirely. His idea was that if he cut the funding the next adminstration would have to figure out how to fund education. Schools in Michigan have been in trouble ever since then.

It’s so ironic, because I feel like schools in the USA in general do not do a good job of educating. I think it is directly related to the crisis of government and country we find ourselves in today. People tend to think of democracy as another word for capitalism these days. Democracy failed in Iraq. It never had a chance . Jeffersonian democratic theory says educate the people and they can govern themselves.

The United States population is uneducated. Reasoning capacity takes a back seat to consumerism and entitlement for me but not for thee. Our situation has a certain amount of logic to it. When there is a vacuum of coherence in government, state and local, it seems that people will be more likely to enter the situation for the wrong reasons (personal profit or agenda). People have lost a lot of the notion of representing citizens. Locally, I have contacted members of the state government and media with questions and comments. Surprisingly, I get responses that are argumentative. They point out the error of my ways or worse they don’t respond. Hmmm.

Right now, once you get into a position of power whether it is government or media or business, you exploit it no matter if you represent 51 % of voters or an even smaller per centage of your organization of choice (business, church, whatever).

The United States is about power right now not representation. It will probably stay that way as long as he or she with the most money wins (elections or anything else).

You can see that I am glad to have my little pulpit back.

I think books can sustain ideas and propositions in ways that inform things like governing and life choices. There is wisdom in books not advertisements or blips on the screen. Just my opinion.

another breath taking blog entry

Starting my dead in a whirlwind of web sites seemed to leave me pretty brain dead.

But then for some reason I wrote a couple of song sketches. No words but one was pretty much a whole song without lyrics.

I am feeling very unmotivated.

I think I will now go out in the backyard and read.

repository of visual, concrete & poetry


UbuWeb was founded in November of 1996, initially as a repository for visual, concrete and, later, sound poetry. Over the years, UbuWeb has embraced all forms of the avant-garde and beyond. Its parameters continue to expand in all directions.”

I clicked on this link and listened to Rose Hobart, a movie made by the artist Joseph Cornell.

He took a 1931 movie (East of Borneo)

and reduced it to 17 minutes and used Nestor Ahmal’s record, “Holiday in Brazil” for the background music. mucho fun. The record doesn’t seem to be available except in vinyl. According to the wiki entry linked above, Cornell found this record in a junk shop.

The site plays the entire movie, I just have the music playing in the background.

subliminal message for kids

Audio file

as you lie there and listen to my voice you know that i am your friend and so you can rest now you will listen to my voice and you will remember everything i say because you know we love you we want you and we need you and your family is very proud of you you will listen to my voice and you will rest quietly you can do everything i tell you ….

Random links

William S. Burroughs “Lecture on Public Discourse” mp3

Free Albums Galore I like this site. Obscure musicians offering free downloads.

Free Albums Galore link page This is a list of free music download pages by the editor of Free Albums Galore.

Internet Archive includes moving images, live music archive, audio and texts.

John Sayles plays Byrd, Dowland and others on guitar. Free mp3s.

The tape-beatles use no musical instruments only sounds. They espouse the use of plagarism. I like what I listened to.


Oddio Overplay I found several of the above sites using this huge list of free legal music on the web. At first glance, I skimmed their links. Then I realized I want to go back much more thoroughly. Lots of different links.

First World War site…. has amazing stuff. pictures, audio recordings and video.

All in my head

Just walked home from church with Eileen. Today went better than last week I guess. I think it’s all in my head. The phrase, “all in my head,” has a new resonance after finishing reading the Raw Shark Texts by Steven Hall.

Hall’s plot hinges on the power of words and memory to shape reality. It has a bit of a Hollywood ending, but besides that I thought this was a pretty good book.

And he thanked David Mitchell who is the other new author I’ve been reading lately (Ghostwritten, Cloud Atlast).

Before church I figured out how to run my old Finale program from saved files on my exterior hard drive. This means I managed to do at least one score this morning to hand to the instrumentalists at church. I have the other one about half done and will finish it today or tomorrow.

I thought today was Mother’s day. Kind of relief that it’s not. I told Eileen it strikes me as Baby Machine day. I guess I’m just cynical. I always make sure my Mom knows I love her on this day. But I kind of resent the consumer society manipulating me in this fashion.

I just looked on Wiki and the US celebration of Mother’s Day actually has a cool origin. Julia Ward Howe, the abolotionist who wrote the words to the Battle Hymn of the Republic, attempted to get a Mother’s Day for Peace going in the 1870s.

Wow. That sure wouldn’t fly in the USA right now.

Speaking of US stuff, a French voter is quoted on BBC as saying “I don’t want [centre-right leader Nicolas] Sarkozy, his social ideal is America. That doesn’t suit me. France is not a violent society like the US.”  Isn’t that nice? I have to agree with him. We are a violent society. Of course, France might have a little violence itself in the next 24 hours when Sarkozy wins.

Sarkozy is leading their polls. The New York Times quoted him in an article today saying, “Mr. Sarkozy attraced the hatred of many French Arab and black youths when he called troublemakers in the suburbs, ‘scum,’ a description he recalles these days not with regret but with pride.”

more on reading “The Raw Shark Texts”

Spent a good deal of yesterday washing windows at my parents home in Fenton. This was much less strenuous than it sounds because my Mom asked me to use her spray method to basically clean the outside. The rest of the crew worked on the lawn and other sundry tasks.

Came home and continued reading “The Raw Shark Texts.” I’m about half way through this book and it is continuing to suck me in. At this point, Eric the main character is not only seeking ways to protect himself from a creature (the shark in the title) that feeds on memory and ideas and can be confused by mutliple recordings of voices that set up word associations between themselves and somehow create a safe haven that confuses the creature (I told you this book defies description) He is also traveling through connected corridors of Unspace. Unspace seems to be places that people have neglected to the point they have fallen out of reality’s parameters.

Steven Hall, the author, describes unspace as “empty, abandoned areas of the world… labelless car parks, crawl tunnels, disused attics and cellars, bunkers, maintenance corridors, derelict industrial estates, boarded-up houses, smashed-windowed condemned factories, offlined power plants, underground facilities, storerooms, abandoned hospitals, fire escapes, rooftops, vaults, crumbling churches with dangerous spires, gutted mills, Victorian sewers, dark tunnels, passageways, ventilations systems, stairwells, lifts, the dingy winding corridors behind shop changing rooms, the pockets of no-name-place under manhold covers and behind the overgrow of railway sides.” p. 80

You can see from his use of English that he is a UK type of writer. The story is taking place in England.

There is also an evil persona who has come about as the result of a person trying to imprint his personhood on other people. He begins doing this not in any mystical way but by gradually teaching who he is to other people who essentially become him. At some point this increasingly multiple personality develops a need to protect its continued existence. This part of the story starts out in the 19th century and ends up an extended insidious database in the present that is every bit as evil and frightening as the idea shark.

The one person who like the Wizard of Oz (Hall specifically alludes to the Wizard when this character called Dr. Fidorous refers to Eric the main character as the Tin Man and the woman helping him as Dorothy) seems to hold the key to the situation lives inside tunnels of books and is ever bit as inscrutable and confusing as any Wizard.
The book holds together much better than my explanation, thank goodness.

I think the books is about personality and its expression in words. Memory ends up being sort of metaphoric. Eric has lost memory of his previous incarnations. But in order to throw off the idea shark he will assume personas of other people including their mannerisms. By taking on another’s personality he throws the idea shark of his scent. Idea sharks are like the crocodile in Peter Pan. Once they’ve tasted your persona they keep seeking you out to finish you off somehow sucking your being into their maws. Steven Hall “draws” the creature using words and letters in the book (and on the cover).

And there is more, lots more, to this story. I am enjoying it so far. There is a guy who works partime at Eileen’s library who read this book and mentioned it to Eileen. He is one of the few people in Holland who like me appreciates Charles Bukowski’s poetry and other odd stuff. He told Eileen he was enjoying the book but wasn’t sure about it.

I think that’s where I’m at now too.

reading another new author

Eileen brought me home a book recently. Above are the UK, USA and Canadian covers respectively. It’s a first novel by Steven Hall called Raw Shark Texts. It’s a very difficult book to describe. The main character has lost his memory, but that’s not the point. He is receiving letters and packages from his former selves, not to help him regain his memory so much as help him escape a surreal creature that is stalking his memory. The book is told in a matter of fact first person. The wildness of the imagined story reminds me more of Poe than science fiction or fantasy.

I’m about a third of the way in. Very interesting.

Today, we drive over to Fenton and help the parents and Mark and Leigh do some chores around the home there.

I’ve been trying to find some interesting mp3s to download. U of Illinois has an afternoon magazine with online mp3s. American Radio Works has some interest back programs available. I avoid podcasts. I prefer to choose by mp3 download what I will listen to. Silly me. Everything seems set up for podcast. Whippy skippy.

the creative process

Murray Gell-mann discusses On Getting Creative Ideas here (it’s a google video).  I listened to about two-thirds of it today mopping the floor.

I took some notes:

Creative process
1. Saturation
2. Incubation
3. Illumination
4. Verification

Book title: “A Fine Disregard” What Makes Modern Art Modern” by Kurt Varnedoe.

“Problem formulation more important than problem solving….”

Throughout schooling you basically problem solve. After school you spend time formulating problems then solving them.

Importance of randomness in problem formulation and solving was illustrated by one person who insisted that his colleagues  approach each day’s problem using the last noun on the front page of a certain newspaper. This randomness would lead them into new directions.

Another example of interesting problem solving: a company had a picnic and they brought cheese but nothing to cut it with it. One enterprising employee pulled out a credit card and began cutting cheese with it.

Murray-Gellman mentions “Conceptual Blockbusting: a guide to better ideas” by James L. Adams.

Day in the life

Yesterday I kept my recent promise to myself to do more composing and sketching. This is the second sketch I have done in the last few days. I have not promised myself I will compose everyday. Just that I will do it often.

I spent a lot of time yesterday thinking about jazz and classical music in general. I have been reading in “Blue: the murder of jazz” by Eric Nisenson.  This book was recommended to me by Brian Coyle who teaches at the local college. I found myself disagreeing with the author constantly.

Brian recommended the book because he thought I was interested in the current conversation about whether Jazz is one thing or another thing. One the one side seems to be people like Wynton Marelis who look to the past of Jazz and see it basically rooted in its Blues’ origin. On the other side are the experimenters.

Nisenson (who according to the Wiki article linked above died  in 2003) is a Jazz critic and he writes as much about critics as the Jazz itself. He gets mired down in the discussion of who is an authentic player of Jazz (are they African American? Who is important?).

I am pretty disinterested in both Nisenson’s ideas and the conversation he is part of.

I am more interested in the question of “what is music for?”  Specifically the concept of heritage and canon beyond pedagogical needs of artists seems to me to an overlooked aspect of both classical and jazz music.

I think the music of the past is very important. I study and play it constantly. But I also think that the notion that listeners must constantly adapt themselves and their abilities to a canon because it is “great music”  is confused.

I do think that listeners, myself included, grow and change. I think we get better listening skills as we use them.

But right now at the end of a hundred year gap between Western Civ Art composers and audiences, I think its time for music (and the arts) to step up to the plate and be recognized as constituent to being human.  Yes Shakespeare and Proust shape the notion of what it is to be a human being in the Western Civ sitatuation. But they are very far from the last word. The isolation and class structure that produced these men is gone.

Humans are connected in different ways. This means we need different art, literature and music to help us connect both to our rapidly changing social environment and to our relationship to our selves.

What I take from this is that if you as a listener relate to music of the past (be it jazz, classical whatever), this is great. But if you don’t and you can find your connection in other places like popular and/or world music this is still great.

The funny result of this is that I spent a lot of time listening to early Louie Armstrong recordings yesterday and thinking about his solos and the solos of other musicians he is playing with in the twenties, specifically King Oliver.

They are developing the idea of the improvised solo. It sounds like first there were multiple improvised solis. In other words, the group improv came first. And like Thespis, Armstrong, Oliver and others stepped away from the chorus and began wailing their own improvised ideas.

It is interesting to listen to this old recordings in this way.

On another note, this morning while attempting to move the worm bin outside, I accidentally dropped the lowest of several trays. It was full of yummy black nitrogen water and dirt. This mixture went all over the kitchen floor.

I have spent the last hour or so cleaning. I am waiting for part of the floor to dry so that I can do the rest.

I meet with Jen the priest in a couple of hours and am madly reading some resource material in between cleaning and writing on the blog.

Good news for intellectual property

“On Friday, a federal jury in Manhattan ruled in Yahoo’s favor in a long-running dispute with BMG (now combined with Sony Music in Sony BMG) over royalties. On Thursday, two members of Congress introduced a bill to cancel a looming increase in royalty rates for online radio stations, proposing instead to reduce the rates many webcasters pay. And on Wednesday, a federal judge in White Plains, NY, limited the royalties that songwriters could collect from online music services.”

“Lawyers, songs and money:A small victory for webcasters could be a big win for the rest of us.” By Jon Healey, LA Times May 1, 2007

Computer down & cat okay

Dam.

I turned on my computer this morning and it would not complete the boot up process. It got so far and then went to C prompt.

I managed to get it to boot up from my Windows CD but wasn’t sure what to do from there.

I’m typing from my quasi-son-in-law’s old computer sitting in the same room.

That’s the bad news.

The good news is I didn’t hurt the cat’s eye last night.

I was working on the stove top with a cold pan of cooked mushrooms and the cat stuck his nose into the pan. I meant to tap his nose with the cold plastic spatula and somehow managed to poke him in the eye. At least I guess that’s what happened. Eileen thinks I might have spattered some cold liquid into his eye.

Anyway, his eyes looked funny last night and scared the shit out of me. One was more dilated than the other and he kept squinting.

It didn’t take him long to forgive me last night and he got lots and lots of petting and hugs. (guilt guilt guilt)

This morning he seems completely okay. I am terribly relieved.

After making sure he was okay, I turn the computer on and it didn’t boot up properly.

I’m thinking it might have been struck by lightning last night. We had thunder all night. Of course this computer does not seem to be damaged. The exterior H drive seems to be functioning (at least its little blue light is on). All of these are connected.

I guess I’ll keep trying to boot it up and eventually take it to the computer doctor.

I’m just glad I’m not having to make a trip to the vet this morning.

Just another day in America

Gary Younge does it again with his excellent essay, “The Good Victim” in the May 9th Nation.

He makes the excellent point that “there are few things as corrosive as the notion of a worthy victim.”

In America, Rosa Parks was a worthy victim of discrimination when she refused to give up her seat on a bus in Montgomery.

However, Younge points out that Claudette Colvin who had the exact same experience as Parks on a bus in Montgomery was rejected by the local civil rights leaders. She was too young (15), too dark, and too poor. She was single and shortly after the incident was pregnant. She wasn’t a “worthy victim.”

Younge goes on to say that part of the insidiousness of the Don Imus scandal was treated by much of the press that it wasn’t so much what he said but who he said it about.

Younge quotes Snoop Dogg to point out that “ho’s” aren’t collegiate basketball players, they are women “in the hood that aint doing shit.”

Finally, he brings up the accuser of the Duke University lacrosse players. She is now fair game now that it’s been determined that she was not a worthy victim.