Being a “worm’s eye view” musician means persisting with what you love despite tons of discouragement and more usually being ignored.

Last Saturday after exhausting myself playing 21st century cocktail music, I had to hang around until I could catch the MCs eye, introduce myself and ask if she had a check for me. Of course she didn’t. She promised she would get one for me and went away. I was stuck in the hall with the bridal party and the o so smooth looking dj and felt entirely out of place. I snuck back down to where the piano had been hoping she would find me. When she did, she confessed that no one knew how much to make a check out for and how much was it again?

I have been battling with my choir over the notion that I would prefer people not to skip rehearsals and then come and sing at the performance. I keep pointing out that it’s just my opinion, but people hear it like I’m insisting on having my way.  Plus now all bets are off because we have abandoned the week night rehearsal. This Sunday is our first Sunday morning one stop shopping pregame, service and postgame rehearsal.

I have been struggling to come up with material for this interim time. I have chosen SATB anthems for about six weeks. But it looks like I don’t really have a quorum for SATB so I have been trying to find music that will both motivate and satisfy my dwindling crew.

I spent several hours yesterday working an SAB harmonization of “Humbly I adore thee.” I’m pretty satisfied with it now. I have a meeting with some other composers today in Grand Rapids and am trying to build up my courage to take it with me to show them.

They are all Catholics and will probably find the Episcopalian version of Adoro Te a bit strange.

Haven’t really had much response to the letter I wrote and posted a few blogs back about church music. I suspect that my brother and my brother’s musician probably read it all the way through. My brother’s musician, (Hi Davd!) emailed me a response which was refreshing.

I also copied it to my staff and have had no substantive response. My boss noticed I had emailed it and said so.

From the  worm’s-eye-view, it’s kind of odd to perceive yourself as content oriented and at the same time suspect that you are missing the boat with how people see life: more if something seems a certain way, it is…. Like if you look like a street person (ahem), you are completely ignorant of what real musicians (who look nice) know and do with music. Poor me, eh?

I find it confusing when people (radio announcers, tv people, newspaper writers) use odd movie metaphors when discussing real life.

I keep thinking of the story of someone’s gramma when tv was new who kept thinking that what was happening on tv was real no matter what. Sort of ducking when trains come at her on the screen kind of thing.

We laugh about that, but it seems to have been more true than we knew. Our reptilian brain responds to image at a gut level and god help the rest of your reasoning in balancing it off.

I know that my life is good and I enjoy making music and being with the people I love. It seems so disconnected from how others experience life.

I’m counting the ways
the ways we went wrong
troubles today
can’t be healed by a song
for some reaons I
sing
anyway

from my song, “So Many People” no copyright, no trademark, just a worm’s eye view