My retirement from Grace as music director is now public knowledge. I have agreed to continue to play the liturgies and recommend hymns until they either find a replacement or hire an interim musician. The latter is what Jen said she would do if my weekend duties went on too long.
I am receiving nothing but support from Jen and the community on this decision.
In the meantime, I do feel as though a great weight has been lifted from me. I have enjoyed being a church musician and serving Grace, but it’s not something I am passionate about by any means.
And that’s what I’m working on discerning. What are my passions at the age of 69?
I told the trio that I would need some time before I would know whether or not I want to continue meeting with them. Dawn who is retired seemed to expect this.
I had some very hopeful back and forth text messages with my lovely grand daughters. Catherine and Savannah recently. I pulled back from connecting with the California Jenkins branch when my daughter-in-law seemed to have misgivings about a conversation I asked to have with Catherine about a book she and I had both read.
Savannah called recently to ask us if we could loan her some money to buy a car (of course). In this conversation she told Eileen that everyone in her family had had Covid, Cynthia and Nicholas showing the most dire but not life threatening symptoms.
I wondered if this had anything to do with Cynthia’s behavior around my request to talk to Catherine.
Anyway, this past weekend Catherine texted me to tell me what she is going to read next. I asked her (and actually asked all of them) to let me know what they like to read and what they are reading. I was tickled to see she had purchased and was planning on reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Likewise, Savannah texted me (actually using Catherine’s phone) that she is reading Clockwork Orange by Burgess. She and I some text discussion about Burgess, the book and the movie based on it.
I finished reading the library’s copy of Last Poems by Hayden Carruth. This is a clever posthumous publication. Micheal Wiegers and Copper Canyon press decided to publish the last poem from each of Carruth’s previously published works along with a few unpublished poems.
I enjoyed most of these poems. See You Tomorrow is one of the new unpublished poems in the collection that I like. I think the idea that aging people do not approach twilight as they near death, rather
they are entering the arcade of
Death. Flashing lights and crashing bells
Surround them, and the only darkness is
The space between the soles of their shoes
And the floor.
from See you tomorrow by H. Carruth
Carruth mentions Ezra Pound a few times. This led to me pull out my battered old copy of The ABC of Reading and start it once again.
Pound has had a huge influence on me. I was amused to find a story that I sometimes tell on the first few pages. It’s the story of the biologist Agazzi and a student. I didn’t remember it came from reading Pound. i thought it was more likely from something like Zen Flesh, Zen Bones.
I am doing a lot of pondering of how I plan to spend my time in retirement. Maybe I’ll blog more. Who knows?