jupe anxieties
I had an anxiety dream last night. I think it’s related to the fact that we are behind in our planning for the Triduum (Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, the Easter Vigil on Saturday). There were some funny parts to my anxiety dream. I was due to play a postlude to a play in a distant theater (it’s a dream. It doesn’t make sense.) but could not find my organ shoes or the music I was to play. I ransacked the building where I and many others were staying. Finally I realized that I was wearing my organ shoes. I even found this funny in the dream. The dream ends with me giving up despite help from people in the dream. I didn’t have enough to time to make my way to where the play was being presented to play the postlude for it.
Weird.
Before writing here, I sent off all the info the secretary needs from me to complete the Triduum booklet and the Sunday bulletin. So that’s done. This year doesn’t look that daunting to me. My piano trio will be helping on Saturday evening. My cellist will be helping on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday. The choir is prepared. The marathon begins tomorrow evening with the choir rehearsal. Rev Jen and I meet in the morning to proof the bulletin. This is cutting it a little close, but I think we are in good shape.
Sibelius and Marley by Ishion Hutchinson
History is dismantled music; slant,
bleak on gravel. One amasses silence,
another chastises silence with nettles,
stinging ferns. I oscillate in their jaws.
The whole gut listens. The ear winces
white nights in his talons; sinking mire.
He wails and a comet impales the sky
with the duel wink of a wasp’s burning.
Music dismantles history; the flambeaux
inflame in his eyes with a locust plague,
a rough gauze bolting up his mouth unfolds,
so he lashes the air with ropes and roots
that converge on a dreadful zero,
a Golden Age. Somewhere, an old film,
Dusk solders on a cold, barren coast. There
I am a cenotaph of horns and stones.
Jupe note: I like this poem. I bet you can see why.
Music arrived in the mail
I regularly buy used music from Craig Cramer who teaches organ at Notre Dame University, Sound Bend and was my grad school organ instructor. A box of stuff came in the mail yesterday. Woo hoo! Here is some of what was in it.
I met a student of this man in grad school. This looks like a great resource.
These two books are in pristine shape. Craig charged me $20 for the first one and $21.50 for the second. They list at $37 and $39! The English volume should come in handy, since I like to play English music for my Episcopalians.
I also purchased “Sonata no. 2 for organ and string quartet” by Daniel Pinkham and Trio Sonata No. 2 in F by William Boyce. Both of these came with string parts. There was lots more, but I won’t bore you with all the titles. But I am very excited about this purchase. I have an annual music allowance at work for $500. It’s what they call a cafeteria fund and has to be used up each year. I get to keep all the music I purchase with the fund. I don’t have trouble spending it.
It’s kind of bizarre that you have a book that was originally English, but your version is the German translation! (I know, a deal is a deal…)
Also, those performance anxiety dreams are the worst! Mine always involve a concert to begin shortly, and either I don’t have my music, and/or I’ve never played or seen the organ before. Good times.
John Brock’s book has both the English and German. It’s also a second edition of this work. I’m very happy to won it.
Anxiety dreams. Sigh. Did I ever tell you how I learned from people in my dream how to deal with anxiety? One of the people said to me in the midst of my anxiety attack, “What’s at stake?” I woke up and thought, “What’s at state?” I found that helpful.